"A midlife crisis might occur anywhere from about age 37 through the 50s." 

Dan Jones, PhD, director of the Counseling and Psychological Services Center at Appalachian State University, Boone, N.C.

Did I just read that right?? I grew up hearing that term being told to whoever was celebrating their 40th birthday. I am still 3 years shy of my 40th however, I AM 37. And I am experiencing transitions of my own. I am doing my best to overcome them as gracefully as I could. I have been doing the same thing for the past 10 years and I'd like to emphasize that I have nothing but gratitude for the opportunity to do what I do for my family. I know I can do more. 

YET I know I am enough.

I know I have more to offer but I know I have done a lot already.

I know I can give more but at the same I feel like my cup has been poured empty. 

I am grateful but I feel like there's more to life to discover. To achieve. To conquer.

I have written hundreds of pages in my book and yet, there are more blank pages to fill up.

I know who I am yet I have lost parts of myself in the process.

SO Confusing. Mid life crisis it is. 

I've had my own moments of helplessness. Of hopelessness. Of anxiety. Of uncertainty. Had it not been for my strong foundation of faith and support from a few loved ones, I don't know how I could have gotten a better mindset. 

I don't know how my mom has gotten through her own seasons of change so gracefully. I am sure she's had her own hard times that ultimately defined her. She had me when she herself was entering her 40's. She was entering menopause when I entered by teenage years. My own daughter is now on her tweens. Through all the years I have growing up, I have watched my mom patiently and lovingly embraced changes in herself and in her body ever so beautifully. I have her to thank for those memories because they are the same ones I am getting my strength from to embrace transitions and changes in my life right now. I am sure she knew I was watching her during those years. I can say the same for  my daughter. 

So yes, I still have a lot to offer though the person I used to be is gone. I am no longer the same for I have gained more wisdom. Through the heartaches and disappointments, I have gained a better understanding of what matters most. I may have lost who I was but now I am given the opportunity to create a new one from all this confusion and uncertainty. 

Whether I am experiencing mid life crisis now or in the years to come, I can fully convince myself to embrace the fire and the burning. Of being torn down and turned into ashes. For like the Phoenix, a new person shall rise again. 

Through God's grace I will be sustained. Through His mercy, I will endure.